Groundhogs (Marmota monaz) are distributed throughout northeastern North America and are known regionally by many names, including woodchuck, chuck, wood-shock, groundpig, whistlepig, whistler, thickwood badger, Canada marmot, monax, moonack, weenusk, red monk, and siffleux.
In Greater Ne-O, one special groundhog named Phil burrows at Gobbler’s Knob…
The Great Prognosticator of Puxatawney has lived in Pennsylvania since 1886. His secret to longevity? Groundhog Punch, an elixir of life. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt to have human handlers to provide care and communicate via the native tongue of Groundhogese. On February 2nd each year, said handlers wake the hibernating rodent from his winter slumber. Summoned by three knocks of an ancient cane of acacia, Phil is consulted for his meteorological wisdom.
This morning, with light snow falling, Phil contemplated the climatic conditions. His Inner Circle, donned for the occasion with top hats and tuxedos, presented Phil with two scrolls. After rubbing his eyes and seeing no shadows, the seer of seers was certain to select the scroll that states Spring will come early this year. Thousands that gathered in the Knob Neighborhood cheered as snow continued to fall.
The groundhog meteorologist in Marion, Ohio, Buckeye Chuck, also predicted an early spring.